Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

Are the Finns bent on world domination?

Monday, May 11th, 2009

A poster named drummerac may be on to something.

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On the Finland-Live site he posted evidence of a possible conspiracy for world domination.  Be forewarned!

www.finlandlive.info/finns-finnish-culture/1076-finns-bent-world-domination.html


The Finns have:
attacked Russia twice,
Germany once,
themselves once,
Are the Finns bent on world domination?

They export, ships, elevators, mobile phone technology, and networking solutions, and once every year their top agent dressed in a red outfit and disguised by a white beard creeps into our homes leaving ”gifts”.

Is this a ploy to infiltrate our homes and businesses with Finnish technology in preparation for the ”New Finnish World Order”?

So next time you get stuck in an elevator, your mobile phone crashes, or your signal drops and internet access disappears…..

remember to be prepared, The days of eating salmiakki and pea soup are drawing near.

Can You See Russia From Alaska?

Sunday, September 14th, 2008

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So, with so many of the Palin/McCain statements proving flagrantly untrue, can you really see Russia from Alaska?

1) No: The Bering Strait is 53 miles across, which means you can’t see Russia across it because of the curvature of the earth. freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2080507/posts

2) Yes: ”and you can actually see Russia from land here in Alaska.” — Sarah Palin

3) Maybe (on a technicality): A Yahoo Answer Poster said, ”Actually, the answer is yes and no. From the mainland, there is no way to see Russia from Alaska. The distance is too great.

However, there are two islands in the Bering Staight – Big Diomede and Little Diomede. The big island is Russian and the small one American. They are 1.5 miles from each other. Interestingly, the International Date Line separates the two, so there is a time difference of 23 hours between the two.”

answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080105000254AAQYxI1

And finally, for fun, catch Tina Fey’s SNL impression of Sarah Palin here…

Political Mental Health Break from JibJab

Monday, September 1st, 2008

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!

Ignorance and Inexperience

Saturday, August 30th, 2008

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By his own admission, John McCain ”don’t know much ’bout the economy,”

By her record, Sarah Palin ”don’t know much foreign policy,”

… What a terrible presidency!

Jim Carrey’s Revealing Swim Suit

Sunday, July 6th, 2008

Jim Carrey entertained beach goers in Malibu recently by donning partner, Jenny McCarthy’s swimsuit.  I’d say that the outfit has a certain retro look, and perhaps even harks back to simpler times.

Jim Carrey

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Above: What men wore to the beach in the 1920s and 30s.

This Hour Has 22 Minutes – Skit

Saturday, March 24th, 2007

This is a very funny skit about Canadian stereotypes…

A Scam is a Scam is a Scam

Tuesday, January 9th, 2007

Hmmm

If all the ”Nigerian” email scams were laid end to end how far would they reach? One could only speculate as all of us with an email address have received at least a dozen of these. The amazing thing to me is that there seems to be little real innovation in these spam scams. Yes, I’ve had the Christian variety as well where the spammer assures me that they are praying for the Lord’s will in the matter, but isn’t so much of this stuff derivative, and getting ever lamer? Sure there’s the transparent ”Euro Lotto,” or ”Dutch Lotto,” or whatever but that genre is getting pretty tapped out too.

Here’s the latest one I received from someone who calls herself Larisa Sosnitkaya whose header email was larisasosnitka1@libero.it. Hmmm again. That’s an Italian email address isn’t it? Why then is she writing on behalf of a former Yukos oil CEO?

Here’s the email:

”I represent Mr. Mikhail Khordokovsky the former C.E.O of Yukos Oil Company in Russia and my name is Mrs. Sosnitskaya. I have a very sensitive and confidential brief from this top (oligarch) to ask for your partnership in re-profiling funds 46m USD. I will give the details soon.

This is a legitimate transaction.You will be paid 20% as your commission/compensation for your active efforts and contribution
to the success of this transaction. You can catch more of the story on this website below or you can watch more of CCN or BBC to get more news about my boss.”

If you are interested, please do indicate by providing me with your confidential telephone number, and I will provide further details and instructions. Please keep this confidential, as we cannot afford more political problems. Please do send me your response’s soon as possible via my personal email: larisasosnitka24@gawab.com (note that the email has changed from italy to whatever…) look forward to hearing from you.

The even weirder thing is that people fall for this stuff. Check out the links below:

Nigerian Scam

Nigerian Fraud Email Gallery


Nigerian Email Conference (spoof)

New Rules for Pie Eating Contest

Sunday, December 24th, 2006

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Wigan, England, known for the annual world championship, pie-eating contest, has adopted a new rule in favor of healthier eating. Where winning formerly depended on eating the most meat and potato pies in 3 minutes, it now depends on eating a single pie in the shortest length of time. Gravy has been eschewed as complaints had been lodged that it offered contestants an ”unfair lubricative advantage.” A vegetarian option has also been made available.

The following commentary comes from The Guardian:

Tony Callaghan, owner of Harry’s Bar in Wigan, where the competition (was) held.. said: ”I realise it may be controversial, but this is the way forward for pie eating at this level.

”We will be inviting challengers to consume relatively small quantities – just one regulation pie – in as short a time as possible.

”It will make for an exciting sporting spectacle, whilst also doffing its cap to government-inspired guidelines on obesity.”

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But the reforms provoked dismay from those who have made their names by eating large quantities of pie.

Dave Smyth, a painter from Hindley who won the first contest in 1992 when he ate four pies in three minutes, said: ”They’ve taken things too far this year – pies are supposed to be meat and potato and anything else just isn’t normal.”

Last year’s winner Anthony ”The Anaconda” Danson, a weight trainer from Lancashire, managed to eat seven pies in three minutes, setting a new record.

The sport’s rules dictate that competition meat and potato pies need to have a diameter of 12cm and a depth of 3.5cm when cooked, with a pie angle from base to top of between zero and 15 degrees. The vegetarian option will be 10cm by 3cm.

”These pies have to be top quality,” said Tony to the BBC.

”we don’t want the cream cracker factor resulting in a dry mouth and therefore what we would term a ’swallow-stall’, nor do we want a filling that is over-absorbent and therefore provokes spongification in competitors’ bellies thereby delivering premature digestive over-capacity.

”A pie that is too crumbly will produce a contest that could result in facial spillage and thereby short-weight consumption – and loss of credibility in the eyes of the world’s gastronomes.

”A pie with too runny a filling might well result in some fast eating times but would not be representative of the quality of pie expected of the world’s top pie-makers.”

Wigans were named ”pie eaters,” after a failed strike in the 1920’s when they were forced back to work and ”had to eat humble pie.”

Take the Nerd Quiz

Sunday, October 8th, 2006

Take the nerd quiz — you’re probably nerdier than you think!

I am nerdier than 95% of all people. Are you nerdier? Click here to find out!

Man Eats 50 Year Old Chicken To Celebrate Anniversary!

Thursday, September 14th, 2006

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From the BBC

Les and Beryl Lailey, of Denton, Gtr Manchester, England received a tinned chicken as a wedding gift 50 years ago. Until this past February they kept the tin intact in their kitchen cupboard.

”We kept it safe, and I always said ’on my 50th wedding anniversary I’m going to eat that chicken’ – so I did,” said Les, aged 73.

Mr Lailey, a former soldier, said he had not felt ill since eating the chicken.

Prof Eunice Taylor, a food safety expert at the University of Salford, said: ”Canned food can last indefinitely if it has been sealed properly, although the normal shelf life is about six months.

”If it’s done at high temperatures and under high pressure, then the process should create a tight vacuum.

”If anyone is going to eat old canned food, I would suggest they heat it thoroughly first of all, just in case to be extra safe.”